Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
