Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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