Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
