Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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