my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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