We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
