Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My butt remains clenched, sir.