Plan B is the new Plan A
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.