i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Randomize
