Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
