No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
