Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
