Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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