When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
