I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
dude. I can hear the air.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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