matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
