Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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