my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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