Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
