Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
