girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
