yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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