Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
