I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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