dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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