Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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