South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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