im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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