I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
