So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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