I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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