alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
