Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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