he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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