take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
