Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
