I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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