You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
