There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
