Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
