Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
