How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
