and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
