How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Shame - the story of my life.
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