2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
