just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's rum buckets o'clock
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
and you fell through a lawn chair
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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