Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
