I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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