just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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