Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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