I can text with my tongue
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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