u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize