You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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