Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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