I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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