Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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