Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
