It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
