I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
