Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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