life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
