My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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