doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
