Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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