Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
God, you're like boner-b-gone
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
