Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I believe in your delicious
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
